I have been struggling a lot today with the feeling that things might not work out after the move. My mind does this wonderful thing where I can sometimes hear voices that constantly tell me that I am making a mistake, that David doesn’t actually want me to live with him and Alex, and even more than that. I know, deep down, that these voices are all false, and I try to channel Susan in [title of show] when she sings “Die Vampire Die”, but they’re pretty strong voices that don’t give up easily.
Alex has done so much to reassure me about everything being okay when the move happens, that I’m worried he’s starting to get really annoyed about it. I don’t know if that’s a legitimate thing, or just another one of my fucking voices I can’t seem to shut up. Ugh.
I hate closing shifts. I hate them. It doesn’t matter if I work at 10AM or 2PM, I will always wake up around 8:30AM, and I significantly prefer to just head straight to work after waking up rather than staying at home, getting comfortable, only for that comfort to be interrupted by the realization I have to put on my ripped, black pants, and my fucking blue polo. My pants haven’t ripped to the point where I can’t wear them, and they are a tad embarrassing to wear but, if I’m leaving soon, I don’t want to waste the money on a new pair of Dickies pants. Dickies being the only pants I can wear where the crotch doesn’t fall out due to my voluptuous thighs.
Ugh. Seriously, today was such a waste of my energy and time.
Decade of Adulthood 